Posts Tagged ‘communication’

How To Deal With Defiant Child Behavior ? 4 Key Rules !

Friday, January 29th, 2010

Defiant child behavior is something many parents fear because it can be hard to handle when parents don’t understand their children and don’t know what to do, how to react and make the rules be respected at home. If that is your case, you need a few effective parenting skills to get your parent role back. Even a slight change in your own behavior can impact your child’s attitude. But you have to be consistent.

Let’s learn how to make your child understand which behavior is acceptable and which one isn’t.

1. Always apply right away a negative consequence to a bad behavior and a positive consequence to a good behavior. Parents tend to forget to reward their child’s good behavior but if it takes an effort to your child and therefore has to be rewarded. Also, it’s a great way to make your child choose to have a good behavior. He’ll notice he can have a much nicer life by acting in a good way.

2. Give the choice to your child. Don’t say “put this on” or “do this right now”. Don’t give orders, give choices. “The white shirt or the blue one”. Stick to the choices you give. Repeat yourself if necessary. Your child will appreciate to have the choice and if it’s not satisfying to him, fair enough ! You’ll pick one yourself then. Don’t give in !

3. Staying calm and firm is extremely important. Your outbursts will only worsen the situation. Speaking in a quiet voice is the best way to start communication with your child. When you scream, your child takes it as a normal way of expressing anger or frustration that’s why it’s important to show the right attitude, the one that leads to discussion.

4. Be consistent and your child will notice you never give in and that he’ll never get what he wants by insisting or being defiant or annoying. Children are smart, they notice your reactions and push your buttons to see what the limits are. The clearer those limits are, the better your child’s attitude will be.

Often, defiant child behavior comes from an Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD) which requires a real change in your own parenting behavior. Therefore, to prevent such behavior from being carried into adulthood by your child, the rules have to be settled as early as possible. Within those limits, and if they are explained and understood by your child, he’ll grow up with values and will be able to handle problems.

A parenting method can help putting an end to defiant child behavior because they provide what is needed: a guideline, coherence, support. I know that it is not easy to find a parenting style but a method or program, in addition to advices, can really make a difference in your child’s behavior now and in the long run. It’s never too late. To help you find an effective parenting method, you can read reviews by parents for parents of a selection of parenting programs at www.YourParentingHelp.com.

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How To Be A Better Parent In 10 Steps !

Friday, January 22nd, 2010

Wanting to know how to be a better parent is a good step ! It’s not always easy to understand children but it’s the key to a better communication with them. Are you ready to learn effective parenting skills ?

How to be a better parent takes 10 steps ! Here they are :

1. Pay attention to what your child tells you. Make eye contact. Ask questions, show your interest in what he shares with you. Just like you don’t appreciate when your child keeps playing and doesn’t look at you when you tell him something important, respect him when he’s the one who talks. Take that time.

2. Play with your child. You’ll learn a lot about your child by playing with him and he’ll learn about you too.

3. Explain why you are the one who settle the rules and why they exist. Tell your child that they are made out of love, because you know what is good for him. When he’ll be an adult, he’ll make his own rules in his house. Make him understand that a family with rules means parents care for children.

4. Kiss, cuddle, tickle, hug ! Having physical contact with your child is important because it makes him feel secure and loved and safe. How to be a better parent is also about showing our love and never let the daily routine take away from us the tender moments we should spend with our kids.

5. Explain your decisions and reactions. What is obvious to you isn’t always obvious for your child. Talk to him, answer his questions and explain the reasons of the punishments you give him. A child who doesn?t understand why he?s punished will never change his behaviour. Always keep that in mind. Children accept things more when they understand them.

6. Be consistent in the interest you have for your child?s life. Don?t stop asking him questions about his day, his friends, the things he?s interested in. It can be a bit frustrating if your child is a teenager and just says ?It was ok? but don?t give up, it?ll pay off eventually.

7. Share some things about you with your child, things that can teach him values, or help him in one way or another. Talk about your childhood, your point of view as a child on the rules in your family for example. Kids love stories about their parents? childhood, they feel more understood. Knowing about the mistakes you made or the things that were difficult for you back then can help your child dealing with his own failures. Don?t make things up of course, just tell real stories about you.

8. Praise your child in everything he does or try to do. Always put your trust in him and show your unconditional support.

9. Be sure that your child never feels guilty or bad about feeling sad, angry, frustrated? All these feelings are normal and you need to make your child aware of this. He?ll be more inclined to express them to you.

10. Sustain your child’s curiosity. Try to know what he’s interested in and even if you’re not crazy about his hobby, show some interest, buy him something related to it. Be here no matter what he likes, what he becomes. This is how to be a better parent.

Strengthening the bond between you and your child takes patience and consistence and of course a few changes in your way of communicating with him. If the situation with your child is difficult for a long time and that things are not under your control anymore, applying a parenting program can definitely help you. There’s no shame in getting parenting help. We’re not born parents ! How to be a better parent is all about being there, paying attention to our words and taking the time to talk and listen to our precious ones.

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Disagreeing With Your Children Without Being Disagreeable

Monday, December 21st, 2009

Maybe you were hoping when you had kids that you would never have a disagreement with them. After all, when they are young you can mold their mushy young brains to whatever you want them to be. Right? Anyone who thinks that has not been a parent very long. One of the truly wonderful things about becoming a parent is that you are in partnership with the Creator to bring another of His children to this world. A child is a real human being and is fully capable of independent thought.

With the exception of the “terrible twos” children do not disagree just to spite you. As way of explanation if you have not yet had a two-year old, you will find that children of that age will sometimes disagree with everything you suggest to them. Not even reverse psychology works on them, so it can be very frustrating or very funny if you still have your sense of humor. At other ages children will disagree with you because they actually have an opinion and a way of thinking that is independent from yours. Most parents, ultimately, would like their children to grow up independent-minded. They probably will grow up to be independent-minded whether you give them permission to or not.

So while your children are still in your home, what are some strategies you can employ to keep communication open while children are explaining how and why they disagree with you? First, acknowledge and allow your children to acknowledge their feelings. If something has made them angry, let them so say. If they feel something is unjust, let them explain why. Don’t stop there, but encourage them to explain more by saying things like “tell me more about that.” Occasionally echo what they are saying by restating in your own words what you believe you just heard them say. This will help you to truly listen and to show your children you are listening. If you can see this issue is going to be a big deal for your child, do not be so quick to jump in with your point of view. If all you can think of while your child is talking is how you are going to refute what they are saying, you may not be really listening.

By giving your children plenty of time to explain their views, you are showing that you care about their feelings, thoughts and opinions on a matter. You might actually find out that your child has a valid point and that you were wrong in the first place! By hearing your children out you are showing that you are trying to be fair.

Now comes the hard part for some parents. Sometimes even after all the discussion and talking it out, you still must remember that you are the parent. You still must say that you are the parent here; you have the final say because you have the responsibility to take care of your child. Be fair enough to your children to give them as thorough an explanation as you can manage and that they can understand. Sometimes you will need to explain to them that this is what it means to “agree to disagree.”

Author Bio: G. Gometra, mother and writer, has recently published information on the personalized diaper bag and Kalencom diaper bags. Reprint of this article is permitted as long as this author bio is kept intact with the preceding hyperlinks kept live.

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Autistic In Infants - Are There Signs And Symptoms Of Autism To Watch For In Child?

Tuesday, June 9th, 2009

Autism Signs. It is very difficult to determine if a child younger than this age is showing signs of Autism.

All children will develop at different rates. There are three major areas where Autism will present itself in children. Behavior: Young children with autism will often develop repetitive motions. These are actions that the child repeats over and over. Children with autism also often need to have routines. Communication: About two out of five children with Autism do not talk. Many children with Autism will only repeat what is said to them, or will not speak at all. If your child demonstrates one or more of these characteristics it does not mean your child has autism. Children with autism are usually diagnosed at around the age of three or before. Regardless of which type of autism the child has, there are some ways to pick up these signs and symptoms of autism. Children with autism may display symptoms like being slow in communication or not speaking at all. There are a few ways to test if the child is autistic. The child may also be tested for seizure disorders.

The type of autism can be determined by a study of the child’s behaviors, communication and social patterns. This will help to diagnose if the child is high functioning or low functioning and the appropriate treatment and care can be given to the child.

As soon as parents see any possible symptoms of autism in their child, they should get it diagnoses as soon as possible. An earlier diagnosis can help the child get treatment at an earlier age and improve the child’s life. Usually children with autism are diagnosed by the age of four, though some may be earlier. Although there is no cure for autism, an early treatment is best for both the child and parents.

Autism is a neurological disorder that causes developmental disabilities. It usually appears by the time a child is 3 years old.

Parents may start to notice their child does not behave like other children. Children with autism may not have said a word during this time, and the parents might worry that their child is hearing impaired.

Often children with autism do not smile or may have difficulty making eye contact. Child development varies greatly, so it may take time for parents to realize their child is not behaving the way other kids their age are. Parents should always share any concerns with their child’s pediatrician who can either reassure them that they child’s behavior is normal or investigate further. There are no tests specifically for autism, however. Diagnosing autism early is essential because children with autism benefit, often greatly, from specialized treatment from doctors, therapists and teachers trained to work with children with autism, and the earlier treatment starts, the better. Find more information about Autism in Children here.

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