Donny Verkamp’s Parenting Life Blog

What’s more annoying than a child screaming? Embarrassing too when the child screaming is yours! I think we’ve all been through this and if you’re reading this article it’s because you think you have tried everything and are tired of this situation. The reason why a child screaming is often hard for us to handle is because we’re in a hurry to make him stop for our ears’ sake and also to make those people staring at us stop as soon as possible! This article will deal mostly with this issue: stopping a child from screaming in a public place. When you’ll master this, it’ll be even easier to make your child screaming stop when you’re at home.

Let’s get started! First, keep in mind the 2 reasons: your child is a toddler and doesn’t speak or not well enough to make himself understood by you so he screams because he wants something in particular. The other possibility is that your child can talk but he already noticed that you often give in when he screams so it has become his most effective way of expressing himself and getting what he wants (little monster!). Don’t worry. You’re the parent. And you make the rules. A child screaming will not stop you!

Here’s what to do:

1. As usual (yes that’s a must-do), don’t get angry, stay calm, keep your voice down. You can’t teach emotional self-control to a child screaming if you start getting angry. Not to mention that it will make your child scream even more if you imitate him.

2. If your child doesn’t talk yet, try to understand what he wants (food, drink, sleep, toy, arms!). If it doesn’t work, try to distract him by showing him things. If your child talks but has decided to scream because you refused something, tell him you understand his frustration but that there are no other alternatives because you already decided. Explain the consequences of his behavior if he decides to keep screaming: if you’re shopping, tell him you’ll take him to the car immediately where he’ll calm down or you’ll just go home and he’ll have to stay in his room. Apply this if he keeps screaming. If the screaming happens at home, pick a place where he sits when he’s punished, not necessarily his room, and tell him to sit there until he decides to change his behavior. Make him understand he now has the control. It’s just up to him to change. Stay firm and calm to make him feel that you’re not going to give in this time.

3. Your best ally to avoid having your child screaming in a public space is “preparation”. Yes. Preparation means two things. 1: Always have something to eat and to drink in your bag. Don’t forget a toy or two. Preparing also means going out with your child only after he took his nap or in the morning so that he won’t be tired. 2: Explain to your child where you’re going and how you expect him to behave. If you’re planning on buying him a book, tell him. That’s what you decided. Make things clear before getting there.

4. Later, when you’re child is calm and playing in his room few hours after you went shopping, go talk to him about his behavior at the mall, even if he had a good behavior. If he screamed and you had to go back to the car, tell him very calmly that if that kind of behavior happens again, you will not go shopping with him again because when you say no, it’s no. And if your child had a good behavior (especially if it’s rare), tell him you’re proud of him and look forward to go shopping with him again (always reward a good behavior with kind words or a gift). Then, say I love you and hug your child, even if you just talked about his bad behavior. It’s indeed his bad behavior that you don’t like. Your love for him as nothing to do with it.

A child screaming just like a child stealing, lying, having a bad behavior, has to be handled in a firm, calm, coherent way. Yes, your constant parental behavior will help him understand that he’s the one who has to change if he wants new privileges and a happier life. A child screaming is not happy. That coherence in your parenting style is the key of a child’s constant good behavior. To help us parents apply a coherent parenting style, there are very useful and well written guides or methods that definitely can help with this.

I’d like to recommend a website built by a group of parents that will bring you the parenting help you need. These parents selected and reviewed parenting methods that worked for them. I’m glad I found it and glad to share it with you today!

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